?fading youth

Having an empathic connection to everything, heighten your senses, the difficulty of catching up air is increasing, the once normal amount of emotions are now flooded with storms and echoing wind. You can’t point out which direction hurts more, not knowing if what you feel is yours or to someone else’s. You can only speak in metaphors and never-ending sentences describing what you feel without directly pointing out what it is your feeling.

Difficulty breathing, the main subject of it all. Retrieving control by distracting oneself with scented candles and morning coffee, having your tired eyes watch more of endless series to fill up the gaps in your chest, to retrieve warmth on your bones, to keep yourself sane, and keep your working fingers dry and tired.  

It’s all in the mind, it’s all in the m---

You still can’t go back to sleep despite having no sleep at all for a week. 

You smile, and you say to yourself, 

“being busy means you exist.”

Is that even happiness?