another worries, what's new.
I feel guilty when I allow myself to play, some people my age or younger than me gear towards to their adulthood and future plans...while I’m here, fingers covered in paint, going back to my day job, still struggling and daydreaming. Is this the right way to live? When I play it feels right but money-wise? I guess not. My anxiety factors in healthcare and income as it's flimsy and out of my grasp. I know the only solution is to find a stable job, but my heart fears that I'll be trapped again and will lose the amount of play that I am having despite having guilt, endless comparisons, and what-ifs. The logical side of me wants to give it up while my hands are aching to create more for myself. Part of me wants to just let it be, "Kung meron, meron. Kung wala, wala." But only the brave souls can sleep at night with that mindset, I am not one of them but I am truly in awe for those who can. \ _ :) _
